With five Olympic gold medals, a knighthood, and an estimated fortune of £13 million, Bradley Wiggins seemed to have it all.
However, in June, the former sports star was announced as bankrupt with liabilities exceeding £1 million. This unsettling revelation also uncovered that he was homeless and couch-surfing at his ex-wife’s place, following the loss of his £975,000 house.
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Now at the age of 44, he has opened up about his struggles with depression, issues related to alcohol, and the time when his 19-year-old son Ben feared for his life as he isolated himself in a dim hotel room last November.
In a poignant discussion on The High Performance Podcast, he remarked, “I went through some deeply challenging times. The most significant event likely occurred nearly a year ago, though I won’t elaborate on that.
“I found myself in a very dark place, confined in a hotel room for several days; it was my son who ultimately stepped in and helped me understand the self-destructive actions I was exhibiting.
“There were numerous underlying factors contributing to that.”
“I’ve always grappled with feelings that instilled distress and made happiness elusive; it appeared there was always something looming ahead. Nonetheless, I’ve come to terms with the fact that a clear path may remain forever unclear.
“I’ve come to understand we’re brought into challenges, and how we manage those challenges defines our life narratives.”
“Initially, I was reluctant to seek therapy. I often thought, ‘No therapist could ever fully comprehend what goes on in my head’.”
He mentioned that he is currently in a “content place” and is eager to address a significant portion of the debt amassed through his company, which has now reached £2 million post-bankruptcy.
Wiggins recognized an unexpected ally – disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.
The seven-time Tour de France winner—who had his titles revoked and received a lifetime ban after admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs—has become a trusted confidant and recently offered to fund his therapy for the first time.
Brave Sir Bradley Wiggins speaks about the distressing sexual abuse he suffered during childhood at the hands of an older cycling coach.
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Initially skeptical about accepting the offer, he now feels more mentally prepared to take that path.
He reflected, “Lance has been incredibly supportive in recent times, especially this year. We discussed the idea of therapy, and he has expressed a desire to cover my week-long stay at a respected facility in Atlanta.”
“He is well-intentioned. While his past behavior is regrettable, it doesn’t entirely define who he is. He certainly possesses a compassionate side.”
Struggles with Alcohol
Bradley began speaking about his mental health challenges two years ago, amplified by a traumatic childhood that included experiences of sexual abuse from a previous coach.
His father, Gary, a cyclist, struggled with alcoholism and drug dependency, leaving the family when Bradley was just 18 months old, only to re-enter his life when Bradley was 19, after he had achieved considerable success in cycling.
However, even after reuniting, his father heartlessly claimed that Bradley would “never reach the heights of your old man.”
During one of my darkest moments, I threw all my trophies off the mantelpiece, thinking, ‘What purpose do these meaningless objects serve here?’
Bradley
From ages 13 to 16, Bradley faced sexual abuse at the hands of coach Stan Knight, who passed away in 2003.
Throughout his illustrious career, he earned eight Olympic medals, including five gold ones, and became the first Briton to win the Tour de France in 2012.
However, after retiring in 2016, he realized that cycling had been a way to distract himself from his troubling past, and his issues resurfaced with greater severity.
In a recent discussion on this week’s High Performance podcast, he disclosed that the abuse had a lasting impact, but he has learned to cope with it over the last year.
He noted: “I’m genuinely in the best state I’ve been in for 44 years.”
“This is mainly due to my experiences navigating through hardship and overcoming dark moments for various reasons.”
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“I used to think my success was the issue, but now I understand it’s much more intricate, involving several factors. The past five years have revolved around resolving that in my mind.”
“I’ve taken responsibility for my life, and I’m no longer in a position to blame others.”
My Son’s Influence
When reflecting on the catalyst for his newfound accountability, he credited his son Ben, who is 19 and also pursuing a career in cycling, for pulling him from a “very dark place” on November 20 of last year—the same day that marked the 71st birthday of Bradley’s father, who was tragically murdered in 2008.
His father succumbed to a head injury following a brawl at a party in New South Wales, Australia, and no one faced charges related to his death.
After the hotel incident, Ben voiced his concerns that he might one day receive a call about his father’s potential suicide.
Initially, Bradley thought that narrating his struggles would act as a coping mechanism, but he soon realized it had the reverse effect.
He explained: “As I narrated my journey, I began to see myself as a martyr – presenting myself as someone who had survived hardships and could guide others while disregarding my own need for help.”
“Two years ago, I believed I was managing well, but in reality, I was indulging in self-destructive habits – smoking, drinking, and pretending that everything was okay. Fortunately, I’m truly moving forward now.”
He described himself as an “avoider”—someone who buried his traumatic history while striving for success in cycling. Yet after achieving the pinnacle of his career in 2012, securing his fifth Olympic gold and subsequently winning the Tour de France, he felt empty.
“Winning Olympic gold, standing on the podium just days after the Tour de France, was an unmatched day, and I found myself wondering, ‘What’s next?’ as I struggled to come to terms with that,” he remembered.
“That day was extraordinary, given its significance and the millions cheering from the sidelines, which sparked a cycling boom.”
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“Do remember, The Sun was handing out sideburns on the front pages that day.”
A Very Dark Period
That same year, Bradley was honored with the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award and was knighted in the 2013 New Year Honours. Despite this, he later redirected his struggles towards his achievements.
He recounted: “During one of my darkest times, I destroyed all my trophies from the mantelpiece because I thought, ‘What purpose do these items really serve?’
“I disposed of my Sports Personality of the Year trophy and my knighthood—symbols that were meant to signify my greatness, but I grappled with how my accomplishments defined my value within the family and society regarding success.”
“I aimed to illustrate—through an extremely misguided approach while under the influence—that these objects were worthless, just remnants of junk.”
The deep-rooted pain that led me to question my existence stemmed from the sexual abuse I sustained for three years from my first coach.
Bradley
“There were numerous similar incidents throughout that period.”
When queried whether he now feels pride in himself, the father of three responded, “Yes,” adding that such a claim would have been unfathomable a year ago.
“I take pride in the person I am evolving into. I strive to be a good father to my children.”
In addition to Ben, Bradley has an 18-year-old daughter named Isabella from his marriage to Cath, which ended four years ago, and a three-year-old daughter named Ava Joy with Laura Hartshorne, whom he has also separated from.
While he once viewed his cycling accomplishments as a byproduct of his hardships, he now believes they have “saved his life” and wouldn’t change any part of his journey.
“Cycling has genuinely shielded me in many ways. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.”
“I wouldn’t change anything about my journey up until now, as our responses to life’s events shape our character. I am convinced that my most meaningful years are yet to come.”
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“I believe that excellence emerges from overcoming challenges and navigating tough circumstances. I’ve encountered numerous successful individuals, many of whom come from ‘damaged’ backgrounds.”
Facing the Past
He stressed the profound influence of his history, asserting: “The primary influence on me, and one of the main reasons I struggled with a desire to live, stemmed from the sexual abuse I endured from my first coach for three years.”
“After avoiding the truth for thirty years, I recognized it played a pivotal role in my accomplishments by providing a diversion during those years.”
“However, upon retiring, I developed resentment towards cycling, blaming it for introducing me to that individual.”
Following an interview with The Times last summer, four additional individuals came forward, claiming they too were victims at the same cycling club.
That experience felt liberating, as it provided crucial external validation.
In the past, I turned to alcohol, thinking it helped me cope with my introversion, but it only exacerbated my anxiety.
Bradley
“This situation is highly complex. My relationship with my father and growing up without a father figure—since he was murdered in 2008—carries considerable weight.”
Bradley claims he never felt loved in his youth due to his father’s absence, and after his departure, his mother became involved with a man who was “quite abusive” towards him.
He recalled: “My father left when I was just one and a half years old. I met him again at 19 when he returned to my life after my successes.”
“One notable remark he made shortly after reconnecting was, ‘Don’t forget you’ll never be as great as your old man’. This thought remains in my mind, forming a part of my healing journey.”
An Unexpected Ally
Discussing the generous offer from his newfound friend Lance Armstrong, he indicated he is contemplating accepting it.
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He recounted his initial thoughts upon Armstrong’s proposal for therapy, saying: “Initially, I thought, ‘I don’t require assistance—how dare you, but I appreciate your suggestion.’
“That conversation occurred five months ago, and now I’m pondering reaching out, asking ‘Is that offer still available, Lance?’
“I wanted to establish order in my life independently. If I could improve on my own, without attributing my recovery solely to professional support, that would be significant to me. I genuinely aimed to find my footing.”
“Now, I possess a better understanding of what I wish to address in therapy, focusing on my behavioral patterns and unveiling the underlying reasons for these emotions while examining those issues.”
“I didn’t want to engage in therapy by saying, ‘Fix me.’”
“I will always respect my past, as it has profoundly shaped who I am today. What I need to manage is ensuring that I’m not tethered to the past but rather redefining my relationship with it.”
People profited off my name from various angles, while I was oblivious, fixated solely on cycling.
Bradley
“I have a clear vision for my personal ambitions.”
“Happiness is a fleeting emotion—comes and goes—while contentment is something I’ve found vastly more powerful.”
“I no longer consume alcohol, as I’ve refined my decision-making processes. My thought patterns have improved.”
“Previously, I felt compelled to drink, believing it helped alleviate my introversion; in reality, it merely intensified it.”
Wiggins expressed confidence in his ability to stabilize his finances after declaring bankruptcy in June, revealing last week that the debts from his company have surged to £2 million, double the earlier estimation.
Once valued at £13 million, he has lost his £975,000 family home, his property in Majorca, and has been sleeping on couches, often hosted by his ex-wife.
Nonetheless, he informed interviewers Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes: “There has been significant professional neglect, and several upcoming cases should enable me to reclaim a notable amount.”
The full interview will soon be accessible on The High Performance Podcast across all significant platforms.
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